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How can you say I've never hurt you? Physical pain isn't the only type, and I've said...so many things I never should have..

[Mettaton says it quietly, still not able to look Asriel in the eye. As far as he saw it, Asriel had his reasons for everything he had done. What did Mettaton do any of this for? Anything he did could be boiled down to satisfying himself. Everything he'd just said and more!

Hell! He'd even gotten intimate with J while still mourning the loss of Papyrus...]

Even if you could save me by your own power, there's nothing here to save. Nothing but a selfish little ghost who would have murdered people. Nothing but a selfish robot who would oppress people if he had a chance.

You're a child. Children make mistakes and they can be forgiven. I forgive you...even if you don't.

An adult like me who knows what he was doing? That is unforgivable.

[Mettaton wasn't actually trying to make it out like Asriel's pain was any less than his own, but...at this point, he couldn't find a single positive thing about himself. This had been building for a while.]

[Asriel goes quiet, his heart aching and his eyes all watery. He rubs at his face uselessly.]

... You've said hurtful things, that's true.

[But he's been so unspeakably cruel. And he knew what he was doing, a child or not. He killed his own sibling - no, he killed both of his siblings. Destroyed timelines without a second thought to the lives he's ripping away, and he's tortured his own monsterkind just to see what would happen.]

But you tried to save me too, and you came to comfort me when I was sad or scared too. Even if I'm weak... even if I'm a coward and I shouldn't really exist, I want to keep trying to save you.

[If Mettaton is turned away from Asriel on the blankets, he'll feel a weight against his back as Asriel flops down too. This is what you do when you feel bad, right?

He's rambling and he doesn't mean to, but...]

Even if you don't forgive you... I forgive you.

[Mettaton does things that scares him. Mettaton has said things that's hurt him. But he means so much to him, and he's shown Asriel kindness and friendship that Asriel knows he doesn't deserve.]

You're my family now. I'm gonna care about you no matter what. So please just... just stay my friend, okay?

[Mettaton is still facing away from Asriel as the young boss monster speaks, but the way his shoulders stiffen, and the way he shifts uncomfortably...it's clear that he's listening.

God...he wishes he could tell Asriel that there's no reason to be so down on himself.

But he can't. He'd seen too much.

And yet...]

Asriel...I. I will always comfort you when I can. I don't think you're weak. And if you ever stopped existing, I don't know that I could bear it.

[He feels the weight of the boy close to him, and it causes him to slowly turn and face Asriel. Mettaton can't cry like this of course, but he looks fit to do so. There's such a tired, agonized look on his face as he slowly reaches out to hug Asriel.]

You will always be my friend. Do not ever think otherwise, sweetheart. Even if I...say awful things, and I'm the worst monster I know. Even with all that, don't think I hate you or that I would ever want to be anything but a good friend to you.

I'm...I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry, Asriel, this is--this is what I meant, I just cannot keep from spoiling anything. I thought if we could play a game, it would be okay but every time I do something...it turns out poorly because I can't think of anything happy. Only the bad things. I am so frightened of being alone, but I can't keep positive when I'm with a friend either...

[That's okay, Asriel's got enough tears to spare for the both of them. His vision's a little blurry, but the moment Mettaton pulls him in for a hug, the tip of Asriel's snout pushes under Mettaton's chin.

Asriel knows Mettaton isn't a monster in the same way that he is, and maybe this kind of affection was weird to ghosts or robots. Without realizing it, a soft growl rumbles in the back of his throat.

Mettaton telling Asriel that they'll always stay friends causes him to shut his eyes tightly, in an attempt to stop a fresh wave of tears.]

I - I'm scared. I'm really scared. I'm scared of going home, I'm scared of this ship, I'm so scared of leaving it too.

Instead of playing games and trying to be positive, can we just... I dunno, can we just be scared right now? Because I've tried being positive and I've tried distractions but nothing works.

[If it's strange, Mettaton doesn't show it. Instead, he gently nuzzles back, a quiet shudder passing through him. When he speaks, his voice sounds quiet and vulnerable. There's no more pretense.]

I'm tired of pretending. I am scared. If nothing is going to feel alright, then at least we can admit what we need to feel.

[So yes. They can be scared together. Even if it isn't helpful, it's at least honest.]

[This was far more comforting than trying to play games or pretend that everything was all right. He didn't need any of that, he just... needed someone to be scared with him.

Asriel feels a wave of sudden exhaustion. It's probably from curling up against his friend, but he doubts he'll get any kind of actually rest.]

I'm tired of pretending too. I... I just don't want to feel like the only one who's scared.

Haha... that's a pretty selfish thing to say, huh?

I don't think so. And so what if it is?

I think you deserve to be selfish right now. The captains owe us a lot. The captains haven't...been real captains even from the get-go.

[Almost instinctively, he begins to pet the top of Asriel's hair, ruffling the fringe of fur there, his eye closing. God, he just wants to cry his soul out.]

We didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of it...

And you do not deserve any of it. You should not feel as if you need to shoulder the burden of saving anyone. You should be having fun, like a good child. The one I know you are.

[An uneasy smile curls his lip.]

You're good, Asriel. Whatever happened before, you are a good person. Please believe me when I say that. So much...so much of the time, I couldn't imagine picking myself up and doing anything on the ship, not if I didn't have your friendship to look forward to.

[You're good.

Just hearing that from Mettaton is enough to make Asriel want to curl up against him bawl all over again. It was hard to believe that sometimes, when he's been made to feel like he's nothing. And harder to believe, when he's killed so easily - and this time, he didn't have Flowey as an excuse.

Asriel squeezes his eyes shut, letting himself just feel Mettaton's hand on top of his head. It was comforting, and in a rare moment, Asriel feels safer.]

T-thank you. That means... that means everything, coming from you. You don't deserve any of this either.

I really hope you find the happiness you're looking for, Mettaton. I really do. And I'll support you no matter what, okay?

That is all I could ask for. Thank you so much, Asriel.

[Mettaton smiles. It's such a rare moment where he can do something good. Something right. He's glad that, even if Asriel's upset, he can manage to listen to positive words.

It's a shame that Mettaton isn't half as receptive. He pretends, of course. It's easy to slip into old habits right now, because at least his words are doing something good right now. But even as he continues to gently stroke his fingers through Asriel's hair, he can't help but be dissatisfied himself.

As expected, he'll work to hide it. Asriel doesn't need this right now. Honestly...no one does...]

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